London Rolling – epic battle royales with debut of Timber Rollers and newlook Fatales and Lunch Ladies

As a lead-in to the weekend ahead, Forest City correspondent Jen Wilson in the guise of brings her derby savvy and keen photographic insights from the January doubleheader.

Luscious Lunch Ladies


he night started out with a battle royale between the Luscious Lunch Ladies and the Thames Fatales. These two London teams are full of new players so it was a great game to pit the raw power of each new lineup against the other. One major change was that Mighty Thor [ed.note: noooooo!] is now gone from the roster and Torque E Mada has migrated from the Thames to the Lunch Ladies. Going through six years of existence, maybe it was time for another shake-up in the league.

Thames Fatales


The Lunch Ladies gained a lead at the beginning. With Clawberry Shortcake and Kindree Surprise doing most of the jamming for the Thames, the Lunch Ladies had to work that much harder to stay ahead. Torque E Mada was playing cat and mouse with the Thames Fatales, and Boxkick Betty had a hell of a comeback for the Lunch Ladies after being in healing mode for the better part of the year.


Captain Anne Tastic along with Kilary Tough, Spock Blocker Chelsea Swagger on the Lunch Ladies were forces to be reckoned with. Sewciopath was a monster on the track and was cut from the game during half time for a major misconduct. There was a lot of action in the sin bin to be sure, but the game was generally good-natured. The Lunch Ladies held their lead through the game and won 218 to 119. Lots of action and good plays by both teams, and kudos to all the new players.

Timber Rollers

All of this was leading up to the second game. London’s new travel team was being unveiled to play the TCRD Plan B travel team. The excitement was palpable. I thought that this might be the only home game they would play so it was epic just to be there. Many great players from both London teams have joined together to become the … Timber Rollers! They were pumped, and watching Plan B practice before the game gave promise to a good match.

Newly anointed Timber Rollers Captain LB Cakes [Tracy Regan-Moss] of the Timber Rollers was psyched up for their inaugural bout.

Plan B in action

“The team was really pumped about our debut as a travel team. With it being our first game, our focus was to play hard, get used to each other in a game setting, and put ourselves on the map as far as ratings were concerned. This took a lot of pressure off the team and allowed us to just enjoy the energy of the whole evening. Tri-City is a phenomenal team and one not to be taken lightly.”

Hellcat of Panar

Plan B had the lead in the first quarter with the Hellcat of Panar [freshly moved over from Royal City] jamming like a firecracker. The score was 58 to 37 and LB Cakes was jamming hard trying to keep up. However, Tri-City’s luck didn’t last. With Bloodlust Barbie power jamming with 12 minutes left in the first half, she brought the score up to 56 vs Plan B’s 67. Pixie Kix then knocked the score up to 71 and Pepe le Punch added 3 more to that. The score was teetering on the brink though, with Hellcat power jamming to bring Tri-city up to 92 and Fox Smolder blocking mercilessly. Just before half time, Pepe le Punch and Bloodlust Barbi had power jams bringing the Timber Rollers to 137 vs. 99.

The second half started with Bloodlust Barbie pushing the score up to 141. Pepe le Punch ended up in the sin bin giving Tri-City a power jam, but veteran Anya Face’s solid blocking defended the Timber Roller’s lead. Pepe added another 14 points while LB Cakes brutalized Plan B’s jammer. Bloodlust Barbie seemed to be power jamming a lot and could slide by Tri-City’s defenses at will. Despite Hellcat of Panar powerjamming too —and she is no small talent — Tri-City just couldn’t catch up. The final power jam was by Glamarchist who brought the final score up to 222 for the Timber Rollers over Plan B at 181.

Pixie Kix

LB Cakes again: “There were a few pivotal moments that could have changed the outcome of the game. I am very proud of how we played. We could have come apart at the seams at times, but the girls banded together and it paid off. We are looking forward to challenging our growth and development as a team in 2013.” As for the win: “I have always believed that you should expect to win and when you don’t, you then figure out why. Going in with a positive mindset is sometimes the weight that tips the scale.”



Great playing from everyone! To the Timber Rollers!!!

Derby is awesome, taking photos of derby is awesome, and this night reminded me of how good it can be. Boojah!

all photographs copyright

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War On Wheels – Sureshot’s take on season finale in Forest City

Preamble: Jen “Sureshot” Wilson has been a very busy lady in her world of art, but has graciously taken a time out to provide once more her incisive viewpoint of the Derby goings-on at the end of season doubleheader at Forest City. Her previous story on the Thames bout with Filles du Roi and Luscious Lunch Ladies against Royal City All-Stars is also here. Take a moment to read that, too!

War on Wheels
by Jen Wilson

The Guernica themed program said it all. The arena in London filled up fast and everyone eagerly anticipated a good night of derby. After the Star Spangled Banner, the Canadian anthem wouldn’t play so everyone sang it which gave the night a down home feel which put our American sisters at a bit of a disadvantage.

The Thames Fatales were up against the Roc City B-Sides from Rochester and watching the Fatales warm up made me think that they were going to have a wicked game. The London teams work hard and it shows. They mean business. The B-Sides were no push-overs though! Lethal Lorelei was a very hard hitting blocker who powered around the track and wound up in the sin bin often. Actually, many players from both sides warmed the sin bin seats repeatedly throughout this bout. Slacker Smacker, Killson and Back Alley Sally did most of the jamming for the Thames Fatales. Killson was blowing past everyone seemingly leaving the B-Side blockers stunned. Annie Takers, Jemecide, None Yabiz and Mirambo did some awesome blocking, but the B-Side jammers did a great job too with Halestorm, Temper Tangent and Tata Pain. It was a hard hitting game.

At one point Slacker Smacker went down from slamming into Mirambo but she walked it off and got back in the game. The Thames Fatales were holding the lead and then kept that momentum until the end. They kicked the B-Sides’s B-hinds.

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The next game was the London Luscious Lunch Ladies against a mixed team of Guelph’s Royal City Rollergirls plus their coach alongside some Eastside Derby Girls, too!. The Lunch Ladies were in fine form and Glamarchist’s Bowie face paint gave everyone some eye candy.

They gained a strong lead early on and kept it throughout. Thor, Elle Boes and Box Kick Betty were the jammers. Thor is a very strong skater and all the Lunch Lady jammers did great dodging and weaving around the blockers. Hot Cross Guns from Guelph is small but fast, although when she’s caught by the London blockers she can really fly. Dynasty Hit and Hustle were also jamming on that mix-matched team, and Hustle always seemed to plow through whatever was in her way. Goodbye Kitty from Guelph was a powerhouse blocker, but again the training and endurance of the London team won out.

Mischievous Lady T, Andi Slamberg and Glamarchist did some great blocking as did Torque E Mada and Bloodlust Barbi.

Both games were hardcore with lots of fouls on all sides, so there were many power jams to be had. Everyone’s favorite derby photographer Joe Mac [jm: aww really?] was there snapping away and I spoke with the announcer Lightning Slim from Tri-City about the World Cup that will be in Toronto very soon starting in December.

Killson from the Thames Fatales is on the Canadian team and I can see why! She is one of the fastest jammers I’ve seen. Go Team Canada!!!

All photos courtesy of Jen Wilson. This is a gallery of some of her views of the night.