Fergus Roller Derby Presents Francey Pants – August 23, 2012

Preliminary ramble : For the second time we were heading to Fergus Derby country [after a bit of a adventure which will not be mentioned here]. After a more than a scintillating day with Bonnie D. Stroir, Fergus stepped up to the plate once more with Francey Pants. We had seen Francey Pants at full speed at Blood and Thunder World Cup in Toronto. Now she returned to this part of the world in a busy schedule. Bouting with the Vicious Dishes against Rideau Valley in Ottawa [where apparently she owns a home which she visits, in lieu of playing with Ridea this time she decided to roster with Tri-City to keep it more fun], then coaching amongst Toronto Roller Derby and CN Power on a Tuesday, Tri-City on Wednesday, then Thursday with Fergus and partcipants who were invited and jumped at the chance to partake of Francey Pants’s skills. The Fergus facebook page listed some of Francey Pants’s accomplishments to date.

“Check out her awesome credentials:
• Currently skating for Denver, Team Bionic, Team France, as well as pick-up teams such as Atom all-stars and Vagine Regime
• MVP for Team France at the World Cup in Toronto
• Short-track speed skating in Canada
• 9 seasons on the ice hockey French national team (played in 5 World championships and 2 Olympic qualification tournaments)
• 7 seasons on the roller hockey French national team (played in 7 world championships)
• Volunteer on the WFTDA rankings committee as West ranker
• Bachelor’s in kinesiology
• Master’s in sport psychology”

So Gentle Readers out there: here is Fergus Roller Derby in the words of Sonia Pitbull Bomber Maiorano herself.



he founders of Fergus Roller Derby (Stephanie Goodchild a.k.a. Ivanna Slappa, Sonia Maiorano a.k.a. Pitbull Bomber, and Cynthia Waldow a.k.a. Waldow) decided to start a new league up in Fergus Ontario, to spread the word of derby and make a mark by opening with a big BANG! With a group of great people and a vision, they were able to have Francey Pants come up to run a clinic not just to their league, but to the surrounding areas; to spread the word of derby and have a legend in her own right come and give some of her time and expertise! With two and a half hours, Francey Pants was able to give two and a half hours of jammed packed information and drills that made everyone sweat with derby excitement! Yet, another accomplishment in such a short time of this new league’s beginnings in only May of this year!


hat are Fergus Roller Derby’s hopes for this new year? Potentially another guest coach (but you’ll all have to wait and see!) To see more people encouraged to participate in one of the most fastest sports that is forever growing, encourage women of the Wellington County and surrounding areas to join in this sport with us, and to be able to play, make their mark, and still be themselves out there.

We’re here to practice, we’re here to play, and we’re not going anywhere …our motto is Skate, Sweat, Sport , and we mean it.


ergus will play under that motto and for anyone interested in coming up to be a part of our league, you can contact us at info@fergusrollerderby.com



Fergus Roller Derby Presents Francey Pants – August 23, 2012, a set on Flickr.

DSC_7003.NEF – They are the Killer Queens

DSC_7003.NEF, originally uploaded by Midnight Matinee 24.

We are the champions proclaims the Killer Queens. With a royally earned victory, the Killer Queens emerged victorious by a 119-96 score over league rival Our Ladies of Pain at the Sleeman Centre in Guelph on Saturday night.

So ended the second season which has been jampacked with intra-league bouts and out-of-town visitors alike, crowned by the hosting of the RDAC Eastern Championships for 2012.

For sure, Royal City embrace the shiny.


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How often does Victory get kicked out of the game? Once. Dancing with Durham in the Royal Court again.

A long time ago in an afterparty in an unnamed bar far far away a certain Number One loudly proclaimed to a couple of Derby fans of the night:

“How often does Victory get kicked out of the game? Once.”

Number One [name disgused to protect the guilty] had been ejected from the game in the second part of a doubleheader between arch rivals Durham and Royal City, and proudly claimed the title of first ever Our Lady of Pain ever to be expelled, for an egregious clockwise block. Or so it seemed in the eye of the beholder.

Was this the moment?


Maybe. Maybe not. The point is two leagues went head to head and just absolutely went about annihilating each other, tooth and nail. The first bout had jammer daring-do and laid blood on the track.


The second bout had the dark side of the force sprawled out in the aftermath of the hit of the night.


Beta testers face No Minors rules in Tri-City and LOCO ELLE GRANDE TOURNAMENT this weekend


Preamble: This is another chapter from this year as we try to catch up in our Derby sojourns. This is just a brief lookback at the No Minors open scrimmage at Tri-City. Many thanks again as always to Tri-City, Hammer City, Belle City, Royal City, Forest City, and everyone.

Sharks gotta swim or face extinction, so it goes with the evolution of Derby in its style of plays and rules.

What’s going on?

Continue reading “Beta testers face No Minors rules in Tri-City and LOCO ELLE GRANDE TOURNAMENT this weekend”

War On Wheels – Sureshot’s take on season finale in Forest City

Preamble: Jen “Sureshot” Wilson has been a very busy lady in her world of art, but has graciously taken a time out to provide once more her incisive viewpoint of the Derby goings-on at the end of season doubleheader at Forest City. Her previous story on the Thames bout with Filles du Roi and Luscious Lunch Ladies against Royal City All-Stars is also here. Take a moment to read that, too!

War on Wheels
by Jen Wilson

The Guernica themed program said it all. The arena in London filled up fast and everyone eagerly anticipated a good night of derby. After the Star Spangled Banner, the Canadian anthem wouldn’t play so everyone sang it which gave the night a down home feel which put our American sisters at a bit of a disadvantage.

The Thames Fatales were up against the Roc City B-Sides from Rochester and watching the Fatales warm up made me think that they were going to have a wicked game. The London teams work hard and it shows. They mean business. The B-Sides were no push-overs though! Lethal Lorelei was a very hard hitting blocker who powered around the track and wound up in the sin bin often. Actually, many players from both sides warmed the sin bin seats repeatedly throughout this bout. Slacker Smacker, Killson and Back Alley Sally did most of the jamming for the Thames Fatales. Killson was blowing past everyone seemingly leaving the B-Side blockers stunned. Annie Takers, Jemecide, None Yabiz and Mirambo did some awesome blocking, but the B-Side jammers did a great job too with Halestorm, Temper Tangent and Tata Pain. It was a hard hitting game.

At one point Slacker Smacker went down from slamming into Mirambo but she walked it off and got back in the game. The Thames Fatales were holding the lead and then kept that momentum until the end. They kicked the B-Sides’s B-hinds.

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The next game was the London Luscious Lunch Ladies against a mixed team of Guelph’s Royal City Rollergirls plus their coach alongside some Eastside Derby Girls, too!. The Lunch Ladies were in fine form and Glamarchist’s Bowie face paint gave everyone some eye candy.

They gained a strong lead early on and kept it throughout. Thor, Elle Boes and Box Kick Betty were the jammers. Thor is a very strong skater and all the Lunch Lady jammers did great dodging and weaving around the blockers. Hot Cross Guns from Guelph is small but fast, although when she’s caught by the London blockers she can really fly. Dynasty Hit and Hustle were also jamming on that mix-matched team, and Hustle always seemed to plow through whatever was in her way. Goodbye Kitty from Guelph was a powerhouse blocker, but again the training and endurance of the London team won out.

Mischievous Lady T, Andi Slamberg and Glamarchist did some great blocking as did Torque E Mada and Bloodlust Barbi.

Both games were hardcore with lots of fouls on all sides, so there were many power jams to be had. Everyone’s favorite derby photographer Joe Mac [jm: aww really?] was there snapping away and I spoke with the announcer Lightning Slim from Tri-City about the World Cup that will be in Toronto very soon starting in December.

Killson from the Thames Fatales is on the Canadian team and I can see why! She is one of the fastest jammers I’ve seen. Go Team Canada!!!

All photos courtesy of Jen Wilson. This is a gallery of some of her views of the night.

On the road again to Royal City – Violet Uprising Royal Champions!

It seems like the third time in a month of Saturdays we’re off again to Royal City for what promises to be a fun night and a colourful battle between the Killer Queens and the Violet Uprising. More words and pics when we get back home again. If we do ….***

And we’re back from the Royal City and quel adventure! Certain details will remain under the carpet but so many Derby thanks and much gratitude to all those who made it all possible. You know who you are.


Saturday night is all right for fightin’ and entertain’ and Royal City Rollergirls brought it all to the floor of the Sleeman Centre in downtown Guelph. A veritable royal rumble ensued precipitated by a combination madskill Derby Skills competition featuring representatives of the three teams of the RCRG, and the evening concluded with the Championship game itself.

Lightning Slim

The announcer of the night was one Lightning Slim whose dulcet tones have been heard in and around Beast of the East and Tri-City. Another plus was a whole slew of experienced and out of town zebras from the Hammer, Tri-City, GTAR, Forest City to complement the Royal City crew of Quadtum Leap, Chocolate Meltdown and NoRefX. So there would be some serious calling this night, but first the latter three zebras were part of the trio of teams going into the Skills competition devised by Waldow and inspired from an Australian competition she had seen. The first event was a mad dash with two laps per player per team around the track, which was only slightly less dangerous than the speedskating kind seen at the Olympics. However, no one wiped out and ran into the boards. An obstacle course conceived by Chocolate Meltdown proved tricky with the the slippery floor while trying to navigate between the plastic pucks. No doubt the highlight was the high jump hurdle competition that boiled down to the three referees at the end trying to jump the incrementally raised heights of the bamboo stick. In the early stages the zebras were clearing the tops of the posts but by the three foot mark, it was down to the two and Quadtum Leap and NoRefX were left. They both cleared the height of the support, then two derby widows decided to hold the stick between them. It was at this juncture that skates clipped the stick for both contestants which left things at a tie and both claiming the ribbon.


The last competition was a free for all with two couples doing Derby whip or Scooters disco skating moves, but Quadtum Leap took his name to heart and dared to jump over four, then five willing victims. Including NoRefX. The judges accorded perfect 10s and Quadtum Leap claimed his ribbon.


In the final battle of the regular home season two weeks previously, Our Ladies of Pain fell to the Killer Queens, with the winner facing the Violet Uprising to claim the title. On this championship night, Killer Queens were brimming with confidence while the Violet Uprising kept their royal cool. The Killer Queens would have to counter a purple jammer rotation of Annasty Hit, Clare de Lunatic and The Hellcat of Panar with their own Archbitch of Slamterbury, Ivanna Slappa and Built Ford Rough. Violet pivots Waldow, Suenami Slayer, Viral Mayhem, Kitty Con Carnage. Pivot and eyes ready Mandy Maggotbone pivot for Killer Queens with Sixty-Five Roses. Already the Killer Queens would be fielding a bench of twelve, missing at least Lady Gore Jess, and Tight-Laced Tylene was confined to bench coaching.


With the scoreboard clock ticking down towards final jam one could only reflect back towards a season past where Royal City had just started to put its skates on, landing enough interest and membership to form three full teams, and then reached out to other leagues in search of learning and improvement, scrimmaging teams in and around the area, heading up to Tri City to challenge the TKOs in their first ever bout, saying more than hello to the WEWRA Rollergettes.

Royal City has a triumvirate of jammers so reminiscent of a certain spunky jammer in Rideau Valley …
Although the Violet Uprising were the first to crack 100, there came a moment when the Killer Queens were ready to strike back because as Lightning Slim and hosts of other commentators have said, no lead is safe and anything is possible in Derby.

The battle best be carried forth through the contestants on the track: The Killer Queens were already down 100 to 59 with 17 minutes left in the period.

Killer Queens Bonnie BruiseHer: “We have come back from losing at half time before. Unfortunately for us, we had jammers in the box all nite. Of course, yours truly was sent there as well. i have never had so many majors. Even when i was at Tri City and I would dispute two of them. But that’s what we sign up for when we play.”
Violet Uprising Soni Soprano: “During the game, I think we were all anxious. You are not just trying to play the game, you’re trying to play the game to the best of each and everyone’s potential. Myself personally, I was nervous. I think I am usually nervous at the beginning of every game, but as you keep playing, you focus more and more. We aren’t just a bunch of girls that play together, we are like family. You have to have each other’s backs every time you step onto the track. Your jammer cannot get through without the blockers and if your jammer isn’t focused on which entry point she has to get through or see where her blockers open the holes, it’s game over. One cannot survive without the other, it’s like that old saying about the well-oiled machine.”



Bonny BruiseHer: “I for one just keep hammering at the blockers and trying to catch their jammers. Personally, I was very very impressed with the whole team of Violet Uprisihg. I thought Annasty Hit was an incredible jammer and she never tired. We knew we would have to use a net to catch Hellcat, so we had a three wall going at the back. We knew that they would expect me to play back so we hoped this would confuse them.”

Soni Soprano: “What was giving us the confidence was all of us working together and communicating. Not just on the track, but off the track.. We have a coach that has to make decisions with the line coach, your captain and co-captain have to reiterate that to the team, and the team, well, we have to communicate all that to one another. You just can’t have one without the other…..”

Bonny BruiseHer: “They were the better team. that’s it. They played a good defence and their jammers didn’t cut the track or get caught up in our nets. We had a couple of shining moments in the second half, we hammered a Violet Uprising jammer all the way around the track. Violet Uprising have a great jammer killer in the back played by Lavendrr Blu, [who] also races to the front and tries up there as well.”


Bonny BruiseHer: “They have superb jammers like I said and really good blockers. The Killer Queens have knowledgable blockers and a pivot who likes to chase down jammers [Mandy Maggotbone]. It was a very physical game which is my favorite and it is hard to hit friends. That being said….it was a very hard hitting game.”

Soni Soprano: “Being champions of our league is absolutely amazing! Everyone put in 110%, plus blood, sweat, and tears which seems to be prerequisites to a derby girl!”
Soni Soprano continues: “I feel great about our team and RCRG. I have made many new friends and continue to do so! I think that thanks to the travel team putting us on the map in Ottawa, our Queen’s of Pain putting us in 3rd place at Too Fresh Too Furious and Violet Uprising undefeated at Sleemans, these are all landmarks of our future AND we couldn’t have done this all without our volunteers, our teams, and thanks to our president Cynthia Waldow who began this story for many of us. Our coach Jamie a.k.a. Dr. Ninja A.F., our captain Kim Scarsmashian, and co-captain Hellcat of Panar….also, kudos to our Killer Queens Coaches Quoth the Raven and Captain Ivanna Slappa and their team.”


Bonny BruiseHer: “We’ve come a long way this season and it shows. I look forward to next season. we will be a force to be reckoned with. You can count on that.”

Soni Soprano on the future: “What am I looking forward to next? Aha! A nice vacation in the fall, changing my derby name (as per request of a fan…) and meeting all the new fresh meaters when we begin the wheel again! RCRG looking forward to? Fresh Meat coming up, and many more ideas to come in the future…you’ll just have to wait and see!”


Fight for the championship spot in Royal City / Harlots get Royal Treatment against RCRG All-Stars

Preamble: After the wrap-up of the ToRD season at The Hangar with the festive Clam Slam leading into the Canada Day weekend, July turned into the jampacked Derby month as we ventured into the realm of the 2 Fresh 2 Furious tournament, then the longest weekend afterwards which started by heading out to Tri City and ending up in the Hammer, then the next week back to Royal City and finishing the week amongst the Rollergettes. The following takes place between July 16th and July 17th.

All photos on this page link to Midnight Matinee on Flickr

The Hammer City Harlots were set to square off against the Royal City All-Stars on a hot Saturday in the middle of July. The trick was trying to get there.

The weather was not letting up which meant traffic congestion for cars trying to escape the city. And the proverbial weekend closures and road constructions only added to the mess. Zipping out to Guelph for their doubleheader was an adventure in itself. Trying to navigate and remember landmarks and the vagaries of Wellington and landing a parking spot in Guelph was accomplished just in time for the second half of the first bout of the Royal City Brawl between the blue of the Our Ladies of Pain and the red Killer Queens.

All the tension was in the atmosphere as the final spot for the Royal City Championship was up for grabs. In the three team Royal City Rollergirls league, the winner of the night would go up against Violet Uprising two weeks hence.


When we finally landed on the floor of the venue, the score was as close as it could be with a 53-55 advantage for Our Ladies of Pain over Killer Queens. Most of the crowd were congregating upstairs in the glassed-in lounge. The Sleeman Centre is one of the best arenas in which to watch Derby with lots of seating in the stands and suicide seating on the floor with supplied chairs, plus great amenities such as the licensed bar serving Sleeman on tap and PBR in the fridge [along with a barfood kitchen] and the ample room in the aisles and hallways for merchandise tables and charitable promotions. No wonder since it is the rink of the hometeam Guelph Storm of the OHL. But when the ice is off the floor, the place is an air-conditioned paradise with first class treatment for everyone alike.

Killer Queen Bonny BruiseHer gives her take on the scenario detailing the intensity displayed by the opponent Our Ladies of Pain who were “not smiling and very serious. In fact, I recognize that look of intensity. It’s the Tri City look! [However], the Killer Queens were going to be victorious as they have been all summer. Our Ladies of Pain was very systematic and I noticed that right away.”


Afterwards, “I told them I thought they played awesome. We [as Killer Queens] were quite scattered at first half. We have a lot of talent on this team. Combine this with teaching skating and footwork along with coaches strategies and it’s all been good.” The focus of attack for the Pain was one fast tandem of Spunky and Hot Cross Guns which was countered by the Killer Queens jammers Build Ford Rough and the Archbitch of Slamterbury. The Killer Queens crew with Mandy Maggotbone and Lady GoreJess gelled and stepped up their game, [this is an example of the Oxford comma] and pulled away to the 110-88 victory.

With Hammer being in the house, they brought along some of their zebra crew, so it was good to see D-Minus, Hot Carl and the fragile on skates again. The whistles were busy and it was a battle of the fast and the furious as the reformation of the Hammer City Harlots continued against the hitters and speedy jammers of the All-Stars from Royal City.

It would have been to the advantage of the Harlots if they had concentrated less on getting their own jammer through and focused on the one two tandem of #1910 Hellcat of Panar and #38 Hot Cross Guns. But the Harlots were being distracted as the All-Stars jammers gained the inside line and racked up the points. By the second half when it was painfully clear that victory was beyond their grasp, the Harlots settled down and focused on hitting their opposition which made for a more effective game and made the bout even more a joy to watch. One could never anticipate that Hammer could be so much fun on the track, but the moments watching ScoobyDoom and her team and the All-Stars hitting the hell out of each other, then shucking and jiving to the music during and afterwards reflects the true dynamic of Derby. Derby is always in a cycle too, with the reformation of the Hammer City and restarting its ascendancy and Royal City in its infancy and blossoming. The night ended with the Royal City All-Stars ahead by 168 to 47 and a mad dash out of the arena and on the highway and a zip back into Toronto before 12:30 could strike.


With only days left to go, the Royal City teams have been incommunicado leaving only Waldow left to speak for the league which has exploded beyond early imaginings. Quoting from facebook:
“It’s outgrown the house we built for it. It’s got a mind of its own and we’re just along for the ride!”

So looking forward to this weekend for a Derby skills competition inspired from Australia and a skate demonstration from Bonny BruiseHer and Chocolate Meltdown as a lead-in to the game this Saturday night. Killers Queens vs. Violet Uprising!

DSC_9977 – More of the action from 2 Fresh 2 Furious

DSC_9977, originally uploaded by Midnight Matinee 24.

The first bout of the day over in Ted Reeve Arena featured the Border City Brawlers from beautiful Windsor against the South Simcoe Rebel Rollers [do we detect some fireworks and rockets here?]

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