It seems like the third time in a month of Saturdays we’re off again to Royal City for what promises to be a fun night and a colourful battle between the Killer Queens and the Violet Uprising. More words and pics when we get back home again. If we do ….***
And we’re back from the Royal City and quel adventure! Certain details will remain under the carpet but so many Derby thanks and much gratitude to all those who made it all possible. You know who you are.
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Saturday night is all right for fightin’ and entertain’ and Royal City Rollergirls brought it all to the floor of the Sleeman Centre in downtown Guelph. A veritable royal rumble ensued precipitated by a combination madskill Derby Skills competition featuring representatives of the three teams of the RCRG, and the evening concluded with the Championship game itself.

The announcer of the night was one Lightning Slim whose dulcet tones have been heard in and around Beast of the East and Tri-City. Another plus was a whole slew of experienced and out of town zebras from the Hammer, Tri-City, GTAR, Forest City to complement the Royal City crew of Quadtum Leap, Chocolate Meltdown and NoRefX. So there would be some serious calling this night, but first the latter three zebras were part of the trio of teams going into the Skills competition devised by Waldow and inspired from an Australian competition she had seen. The first event was a mad dash with two laps per player per team around the track, which was only slightly less dangerous than the speedskating kind seen at the Olympics. However, no one wiped out and ran into the boards. An obstacle course conceived by Chocolate Meltdown proved tricky with the the slippery floor while trying to navigate between the plastic pucks. No doubt the highlight was the high jump hurdle competition that boiled down to the three referees at the end trying to jump the incrementally raised heights of the bamboo stick. In the early stages the zebras were clearing the tops of the posts but by the three foot mark, it was down to the two and Quadtum Leap and NoRefX were left. They both cleared the height of the support, then two derby widows decided to hold the stick between them. It was at this juncture that skates clipped the stick for both contestants which left things at a tie and both claiming the ribbon.
The last competition was a free for all with two couples doing Derby whip or Scooters disco skating moves, but Quadtum Leap took his name to heart and dared to jump over four, then five willing victims. Including NoRefX. The judges accorded perfect 10s and Quadtum Leap claimed his ribbon.
In the final battle of the regular home season two weeks previously, Our Ladies of Pain fell to the Killer Queens, with the winner facing the Violet Uprising to claim the title. On this championship night, Killer Queens were brimming with confidence while the Violet Uprising kept their royal cool. The Killer Queens would have to counter a purple jammer rotation of Annasty Hit, Clare de Lunatic and The Hellcat of Panar with their own Archbitch of Slamterbury, Ivanna Slappa and Built Ford Rough. Violet pivots Waldow, Suenami Slayer, Viral Mayhem, Kitty Con Carnage. Pivot and eyes ready Mandy Maggotbone pivot for Killer Queens with Sixty-Five Roses. Already the Killer Queens would be fielding a bench of twelve, missing at least Lady Gore Jess, and Tight-Laced Tylene was confined to bench coaching.
With the scoreboard clock ticking down towards final jam one could only reflect back towards a season past where Royal City had just started to put its skates on, landing enough interest and membership to form three full teams, and then reached out to other leagues in search of learning and improvement, scrimmaging teams in and around the area, heading up to Tri City to challenge the TKOs in their first ever bout, saying more than hello to the WEWRA Rollergettes.
Royal City has a triumvirate of jammers so reminiscent of a certain spunky jammer in Rideau Valley …
Although the Violet Uprising were the first to crack 100, there came a moment when the Killer Queens were ready to strike back because as Lightning Slim and hosts of other commentators have said, no lead is safe and anything is possible in Derby.
The battle best be carried forth through the contestants on the track: The Killer Queens were already down 100 to 59 with 17 minutes left in the period.
Killer Queens Bonnie BruiseHer: “We have come back from losing at half time before. Unfortunately for us, we had jammers in the box all nite. Of course, yours truly was sent there as well. i have never had so many majors. Even when i was at Tri City and I would dispute two of them. But that’s what we sign up for when we play.”
Violet Uprising Soni Soprano: “During the game, I think we were all anxious. You are not just trying to play the game, you’re trying to play the game to the best of each and everyone’s potential. Myself personally, I was nervous. I think I am usually nervous at the beginning of every game, but as you keep playing, you focus more and more. We aren’t just a bunch of girls that play together, we are like family. You have to have each other’s backs every time you step onto the track. Your jammer cannot get through without the blockers and if your jammer isn’t focused on which entry point she has to get through or see where her blockers open the holes, it’s game over. One cannot survive without the other, it’s like that old saying about the well-oiled machine.”
Bonny BruiseHer: “I for one just keep hammering at the blockers and trying to catch their jammers. Personally, I was very very impressed with the whole team of Violet Uprisihg. I thought Annasty Hit was an incredible jammer and she never tired. We knew we would have to use a net to catch Hellcat, so we had a three wall going at the back. We knew that they would expect me to play back so we hoped this would confuse them.”
Soni Soprano: “What was giving us the confidence was all of us working together and communicating. Not just on the track, but off the track.. We have a coach that has to make decisions with the line coach, your captain and co-captain have to reiterate that to the team, and the team, well, we have to communicate all that to one another. You just can’t have one without the other…..”
Bonny BruiseHer: “They were the better team. that’s it. They played a good defence and their jammers didn’t cut the track or get caught up in our nets. We had a couple of shining moments in the second half, we hammered a Violet Uprising jammer all the way around the track. Violet Uprising have a great jammer killer in the back played by Lavendrr Blu, [who] also races to the front and tries up there as well.”
Bonny BruiseHer: “They have superb jammers like I said and really good blockers. The Killer Queens have knowledgable blockers and a pivot who likes to chase down jammers [Mandy Maggotbone]. It was a very physical game which is my favorite and it is hard to hit friends. That being said….it was a very hard hitting game.”
Soni Soprano: “Being champions of our league is absolutely amazing! Everyone put in 110%, plus blood, sweat, and tears which seems to be prerequisites to a derby girl!”
Soni Soprano continues: “I feel great about our team and RCRG. I have made many new friends and continue to do so! I think that thanks to the travel team putting us on the map in Ottawa, our Queen’s of Pain putting us in 3rd place at Too Fresh Too Furious and Violet Uprising undefeated at Sleemans, these are all landmarks of our future AND we couldn’t have done this all without our volunteers, our teams, and thanks to our president Cynthia Waldow who began this story for many of us. Our coach Jamie a.k.a. Dr. Ninja A.F., our captain Kim Scarsmashian, and co-captain Hellcat of Panar….also, kudos to our Killer Queens Coaches Quoth the Raven and Captain Ivanna Slappa and their team.”
Bonny BruiseHer: “We’ve come a long way this season and it shows. I look forward to next season. we will be a force to be reckoned with. You can count on that.”
Soni Soprano on the future: “What am I looking forward to next? Aha! A nice vacation in the fall, changing my derby name (as per request of a fan…) and meeting all the new fresh meaters when we begin the wheel again! RCRG looking forward to? Fresh Meat coming up, and many more ideas to come in the future…you’ll just have to wait and see!”