Royal Smackdown weekend in Royal City

Stitch Ripper is a Killer Queens skater with Derby dreams who survived the Royal Smackdown this weekend at Guelph’s Sleeman Centre featuring a doubleheader involving all three teams of Royal City plus the visiting TKO’s from Tri-City.

Stitch Ripper was part of the Killer Queens crew who were surprisingly taken down by Violet Uprising 112 to 98. Then Our Ladies of Pain fell to the Total Knock Outs 152-59. She was also a backup for the Royal City Veterans when they visited the GTA Rollergirls for the Royal Rumble doubleheader who unfortunately didn’t get to touch the track.

Killer Queens

Despite the score, Stitch Ripper was still elated. “For a team that has just barely celebrated their first year of existence, our season opener was a huge success! It was nice to see all of our hard work pay off and to see a great crowd of friends, family and fans rooting us on! The Mayor even came and enjoyed herself!!

“All the players, played with their hearts and souls and a whole lot of passion! Months and months of practicing and prepping for our debut was worth all the blood, sweat, tears, bruises, broken bones and sleepless nights!

“We are excited to see what the season holds for us and how we progress as a league in the future. All of this would have never happened without our fearless leader Cynthia Waldow. Who we all love and respect greatly, as she has changed soo many of our lives in such a positive way.

Bonny BruiseHer from Killer Queens provides some more detail. “Killer Queens lost to the Violet Uprising. It was a great game and we were winning from the beginning, then the Violet Uprising came from behind and pulled it out for the victory.”

The night must have been a total success for the teams and for the leagues as 1100 people packed the arena and drank the draft beer dry. Then the Sleemans. Of course “the after party was wicked.”

/… more to come

It’s too hot out there

Yesterday was the perfect weather for sauntering down into Kensington Market. Fresco’s fresh quebec style poutine hot on the spot with a perfectly cooked crab cake, then walking on over to the park to see a girl hulahooping around her torso and bare belly, and a guy on a bike circling around getting in everybody’s way and trying to catch a frisbee. Groups of people sitting in the grass playing guitar and talking in strange tongues.

Today was just too hot on Queen Street and more disillusionment with the TTC and now it’s back to Derby life.

Belles of the Brawl with Mollys!

Justine Sane

In the aftermath of the Black Eye Affair between the Chrome Mollys and Belles of the Brawl, once again we hear from Justine Sane. All fierce and fun at the same time, she was part of the pack that led the Belles from Brantford’s Belle City. Once again she was back at the Ted Reeve Arena where she had once been with the GTA Rollergirls.

Belles of the Brawl

Justine Sane starts off then we will hear from one of the other Belles Lass Compactorof the night.

“Our league was so super excited to play the first game,” says Justine Sane. “For me playing at Ted Reeve was bittersweet, it was great to have my first game with the Belles of the Brawl in familiar territory, but it was also weird to be a visitor against GTAR. They are such great hosts though that we all felt pretty good to be there.”

The 177-44 score for the Chrome Mollys’s second victory of the season did not take away from the fun and excitement of the night.

“It was great to have the fans there, I was remembered by fans when I went to watch the Royal Rumble last week, and this past Saturday I did get quite a few cheers— especially when I got lead jam! That is so derby, to be loved even after you leave! The Belles of the Brawl have the first game behind us, we will learn as a team from this experience. There were some rookie mistakes that will go away quick. The Belles of the Brawl, we hit them, they fall!”

Belles Captain for the night Lass Compactor shares the nerves and excitement of being on the track for the first time.

“May 28th is the day I will never forget!! I have heard stuff about playing the games, but it never hit me until I was in the building and watching my team get ready for it. I’ve never been so nervous, all I could think about was getting my first hit!! Who will it be ?? How hard should I do it? Am I going to go down with her? These were all the questions that ran through my head.The intro was done, names were called, my heart starts to race as I am in the first line up!! I scan to the left, then to the right. Who will it be to take my first hit?? It seemed like forever for the whistle to blow. The girl on my left was my first victim. It wasn’t too bad. So I go for a few more hits and the jam was over. It wasn’t scary at all, just a rush!! By the end of the first half I was getting tired. …” [but undoubtedly the rest of the evening was one long evening of Derby high which we will hear more from later.]

Captain Lass Compactor

/… more to come

In conclusion: this was our first game, we have 6 more bouts scheduled [check out Belle City plus the CWRDA tournament [June 17 to 19] and 2 Fresh 2 Furious [July 9]. Includes Royal City’s Violet Uprising on the 25th of June!

“We also host the Chrome Mollys from GTAR November 19th, our goals for the re-match are to increase our score, decrease our penalities, and of course show them
the same hospitality they showed us (and leave a few bruises … shhhh!)

Timmins runaround with Sault against Sudbury

Preamble to the Gentle Reader: Previously Laura DevilZone had provided her sunny words here about the bout up in Sudbury facing off against Sister Slag of Nickel City Roller Derby. Part of the roster for the day included the presence of Timmins Roller Derby’s Gold Miners Daughters.
This is the link to the first part of the story that just came out on Monday:
Soonami Strike Gold in Sudbury

Lisa Kill'er Princess / photo by Janet Young

Here is another chapter from Lisa Kill’er Princess of The Gold Miners’ Daughters starting off with some background about Timmins’s first Roller Derby team. Continue reading “Timmins runaround with Sault against Sudbury”

Soonami strike gold in Sudbury

Preamble for you, Gentle Reader, [that’s you reading this – greetings!] out there in the world of Derby: Sault Ste Marie headed north on the weekend for the inaugural bout between the two leagues of Nickel City in Sudbury and SRD with a little bit of interjection from one of the teams of Timmins. Sunday was an exhibition match that raised the roof which is a common theme for the weekend across the province.



Laura DevilZone provides the words for the fun and daring ventures of the weekend with photos provided by Janet Young and Derene Harriettha. Good work to all!

Photo by Janet Young

Sault Ste Marie’s Sault Roller Derby league’s team SOONAMI SLAMMERS comprised of Devil Zone, B CZAR, HOTASS HELL, TNT-Lo, 4ROCIOUS FRENCHFRY, GODDESS OF DESTRUCTION, PWND * and first bouters Wall O’Pain, Bruise Pristine, Mena Nuff, Rudy Nuff and Smasha Yar, Holly Dolly for pics and video were joined by Timmins’ Gold Miners’ Daughters Fidela Catastro, Ames to Mame, Kill’er Princess, Karma To Getchya and Coach Nick L. Bagg (and Sarah thanks for helping too) played against Sudbury’s Nickle City Roller Derby’s Team Sister Slag on Sunday May 29th in an exhibition game in the city of Espanola Ontario! Continue reading “Soonami strike gold in Sudbury”

Dolls get clocked by Chicks Ahoy! in regular season finale

The Beast of the East 2011 had changed the lay of the land as Toronto Roller Derby came in positions two, three and four behind the winners Rideau Valley.

The other sign of the apocalypse was Death Track Dolls first win over Chicks Ahoy!

So all manner of anticipation added to the buildup to the season closer at ToRD. A chance for revenge for Chicks Ahoy? Could the Dolls do it again? All those feelings go left by the wayside from the start as the Chicks Ahoy! started piling up the points. The programme was filled with faces not on the track.

Most notably absent in action was Land Shark out of the country, which left Santilly in Yo Face in her place on the jammer. And Night Ryder looked new at least to us.

It was not a good night to be a jammer with Death Track Dolls last night as Santilly in Yo Face and Jubilee were thrown into the fray along with Captain Betty Bomber and Slam Wow. Chicks Ahoy! had a find in Kookie Doe and Bala-Reina.


Probably the first of many memorable hits left a vulnerable Santilly struggling for balance on the edge of the track while trying to re-enter when the Chicks absolutely levelled her.

By halftime, all doubts were erased that the Chicks Ahoy! were back. With a 111-13 half time score, Death Track Dolls faced a tough comeback.

Mr. Whistler laid out a whole list of reasons why the turnabout was in play. Land Shark missing necessitating a change in the jammer and blocker rotation with players shifting around positions, new players on the track, Marmighty and Rebel Rock-It playing their A-game as Chicks Ahoy! blockers. And of course, the key difference was this was a 60 minute bout as opposed to the twenty minute format of Beast of the East.


The challenge for the Dolls according to ToRD TV commentator Derby Nerd was could the team hold the Chicks Ahoy! down to under 200 points. The two teams came out flying again in the second half, with Jubilee being added to the jammer rotation. The second half was even tougher but it ended up 198 – 35.

Both squads lay down their bodies and spilled blood on the track in a night of real hits and real action by real players. One can begin to hear the blood bubble again for the semi-final two vs three as Chicks Ahoy! and Dolls go head to head again for even more real hits, real action.

But for the of this night the Chicks cheer was heard again:

“We’re number fun! We’re number fun! We’re number fun! Ahoy!”


/… more to come

Sault! Derby Madness this weekend – Sault go against Sudbury – plus Rollergettes and Royal City rumble tonight

It was great to see so many new leagues last year at GTA’s inaugural Fresh and Furious. Amongst the leagues playing was Sault Roller Derby.

To bring us up to date, some welcome and fresh words from Laura DevilZone up in SRD who venture a little bit northwards this weekend to roll against one of our favourite teams Sister Slag of NCRD.

“Our league in Sault Ste. Marie, the Sault Roller Derby League is now a registered NOT-for Profit Organization and we now have our very first team!

We are proud to unveil our new team! Please meet the “SOONAMI SLAMMERS” !

We are playing Sudbury (NCRD’s) Sister Slag on Sunday May 29th, in an exhibition game in the town of Espanola.

In July, our freshies will play in GTA’s Fresh n Furious II and our seasoned ladies will be coaching, reffing, and helping to NSO for the bouts.

We are working on an event for our new team and if all comes together, will be officially announcing the event soon!

We would like to invite all derby folks if they are passing through Sault Ste. Marie to come skate with us or visit anytime! Just FB message or give a shout out and we’ll hook you up with a practice time!

Much Derby ♥ !!! ”

Good luck Sault and Sister Slag! Connect with SRD through their new site at:

Continue reading “Sault! Derby Madness this weekend – Sault go against Sudbury – plus Rollergettes and Royal City rumble tonight”

GTA amongst the first cut at Blood & Thunder Team Canada East Coast Tryouts

Over a long, tiring and busy weekend The Hangar up at Downsview Park hosted the Team Canada-East Coast try outs. With a number around 60 participants, the first cut of skaters includes:

Killson [Forest City Derby Girls]
Semi Precious [RIdeau Valley Roller Girls]
Soul Rekker [Rideau Valley Roller Girls]
Windigo [HRD Brawlers]
Motorhead Molly [Tri-City Roller Girls, Inc.]
Brim Stone [Toronto Roller Derby]
Bambi [Toronto Roller Derby]
Dust Bunny [Toronto Roller Derby]
Dyna Hurt-cha [Toronto Roller Derby]
Rebel Rock It [Toronto Roller Derby]
Rainbow Fight [709 Derby Girls]


Lee Way Wreck’Em! [GTA Rollergirls!]


from a surprised and excited Lee Way Wreck’Em:

I actually considered sleeping in when I heard what the fitness test consisted of (and I’m very glad I changed my attitude to going for the experience of it all)! I don’t do much outside of derby so the fitness test wasn’t easy. Push ups, sit ups, running…it was a challenge for sure. It was, oddly, still fun. I think it was because I was surrounded by a lot of other derby players who were in the same boat.

“For one of the tests I was beside Semi Precious [Rideau Valley] and we swore to push each other past a certain level; early bits of teamwork popped up despite the competitive nature of tryouts which I think speaks to the nature of the sport. It’s safe to say everyone was tired midway through the on skates portion but we all gave everything we had.

“Pauly brings a lot of coaching experience to the table. He has a hard job of being the first coach in Canada to pick a team to represent the country. The next difficult job will be getting everyone together to practice because of the size of the country and the cost involved.”

GTA Rollergirls is certainly proud of 5by5! and congratulations to everybody who tried out and to those who made it!

From Canada with Derby Love – Part 3 – Fresh start: Swedish meat and potatoes

Sloppy Boggins at Ted Reeve Arena

Preamble: In two previous installments, Sloppy Boggins has detailed his adaptation into the world of Stockholm Roller Derby. Originally from the the Austin Rollergirls where Derby was reborn, Sloppy nestled as a coach amongst the GTA Rollergirls in Toronto. After lending his patient guiding hand and smiles to GTAR, Sloppy left the country to continue coaching in Sweden. Everybody in GTAR still misses him to this day.

In his first installment Sloppy wrote about his introduction to coaching Derby in Stockholm Roller Derby (STRD). The second chapter GAME TIME! detailed the STRD travels to play in Malmö, then came the birth of a great day in Swedish Roller Derby, “the birth of Swedish rollerderby”, the first Derby bout in Sweden itself ever. Now comes this next chapter. Over to you, Sloppy.

Those of you who had read the previous two installments and might be looking for more “meat and potatoes” of how I see things as a trainer/coach may get what you are looking for in this installment. That being said, there are always games to be played and with two coming up I’m not going to give the whole circus away.  This one is about the development of rookies or as they are known in Rollerderby as “Fresh Meat”.

After the bouts, our focus was to test the rookies and get them into regular practice with the rest of the league. A minimum skills test always seems to put a little fear into those who take the test.  Personally, I think it’s good because it not only suggests the interest that they have in getting better at this sport, but it helps prepare them mentally for playing Rollerderby. Mental toughness is required for so many elements.

There are the obvious elements like performing in front of an audience and dealing with adversity, but there are smaller elements that, if not dealt with, can be huge. The one I think most common is the desire to do too much. A player can have great position on an opposing player and yet, because it doesn’t feel like they are doing much, they go for a hit or make a move that pulls them out of such a good position. Trying to do too much often leads to the conclusion that there is something wrong with their own conditioning. Let’s face it, we can all get better at that, but it isn’t the whole story. Continue reading “From Canada with Derby Love – Part 3 – Fresh start: Swedish meat and potatoes”

GTA rumbles with Royal City

[quick note: this story is still in the writing and photo stage… I’ve just realized something: this is the first time I’ve seen a Debutantes victory in person.]

The teams of GTA got deep into a Royal Rumble with the Royal City Rollergirls from Guelph on a cool and rainy Saturday night. But inside, the action was more than hot and primed.

Royal City Rollergirls from Guelph came into the well-packed arena at Ted Reeve on a Saturday night more than ready to rumble against GTA who were officially launching their season. The crowd was more than ready to rumble as well.

While the quickly developing Royal City Rollergirls comprise three teams within their own league, what with Violet Uprising, Killer Queens and Our Ladies of Pain, the RCRG for the night divided into the Freshies and Veterans for the Royal Rumble. And according to Debutantes coach My-Call Bublé it would be the first official 60 minute bout for Royal City. So while the experience level difference might be vast, the ladies in the Royal colours would not be mismatched. With previous coaching help from some Toronto Roller Derby veterans and CN Power along with some input from Guelph vets, Royal City were ready to do their best. Continue reading “GTA rumbles with Royal City”